Inner Wisdom

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“He listened yet more intently to what was within him, to the past, to see whether that voice of memory truly foretelling the future would not speak to him again, revealing the present to him as well as the past.”
― Stefan Zweig, Journey Into the Past

Meditation is hard. It’s an honest fact of life that when you try and sit still for however long, your mind will wander about and then you have to constantly remind yourself to come back to the breath and inner peace instead of following your thought patterns that you have created. There, I said it. I am human and sometimes when I sit on a cushion or I am in shavasana my mind will go in a million different directions and I am just beyond frazzled. They say that is when we need to practice the most. If you have time, then practice for 10 minutes. If you don’t have time, then practice for an hour. Or so they say…

Lately, I have taken to listening to my body and see what it really needs instead of forcing it into something. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I do need a good kick in the tush to do my meditation or yoga practice. As of right now though, looking within to what I need is helping me tremendously. Sometimes I will practice for over an hour, sometimes for 10 minutes, and sometimes I just will go with the flow of what I need and do short spurts.  Everyday is always something new and we are forever changing. Because of that, sometimes our practice needs to change and we should be more fluid.

We all need to go inside ourselves and see what we truly need to nourish our souls because the answers are never outside, but always within. Why? Because we are all connected to everyone and everything on this planet. Why do you think we have such similar DNA to chimps, dandelions, and other things? We are all made of the same stuff. We feel we should look outside of ourselves for answers, that we need guidance or approval of others.  The things is we don’t NEED it in the original sense. More so, it is a good indicator or reminder that we are on the right path so we are able to realize something within ourselves. Our egos trick us into thinking we know nothing, when in reality, we know a lot more than we give ourselves credit for. We just need to go within.

So, instead of beating yourself up because your meditation practice, yoga practice, or whatnot is not how it normally is, just relax. ask your body what it needs and you’ll be able to figure it out and better practice being present. Namaste.

Breakfast of Champions

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I went to a cafe that advertised breakfast anytime, so I ordered French Toast during the Rennaisance.” –Stephen Write

As we all know, breakfast is really good for you. It wakes you up, breaks the hunger from when you are sleeping (thus breaking the fast), and it boosts your metabolism. But what is a vegan suppose to do at breakfast? Most breakfast foods now a days are not vegan friendly. Sure, you could get the vegan bacon that tastes like cardboard or the sausage that resembles a hockey puck (I have had good versions but most are sub par, mind you) or even do a tofu scramble which is a poor substitute for eggs. But what about soup?

Tons of Asian countries have vegan friendly breakfast options that most people are not familiar with. A few of my top favorites are Congee, a rice porridge from china; Nabe; a Japanese breakfast soup; Miso, another Japanese soup; and Golden Milk; a thick Indian drink. There are plenty of others, but what I have been doing lately for breakfast is just making a quick vegan veggie soup in the morning. Sometimes even in the microwave if I don’t have much time in the morning. All you need is some hot water, a miso packet or vegan bullion cube, a few greens and mushrooms or veggies of choice and BAM! Breakfast is served. It’s warm, healthy, and easy.

If you want something crunchy or toothsome then make a piece or 2 of toast from some local bread. I really like Jewish Rye because it has a lower glycemic index and it also has lots of flavor. Plus it tastes really good when you dip it in the broth. Maybe it’s just me, but I always feel better when I have something warm for breakfast and it makes me feel alive again. So, next time you don’t know what to make in the mornings, try some soup along with your morning cup of coffee or tea. Namaste

Cleansing

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“So long as we have failed to eliminate any of the causes of human despair, we do not have the right to try to eliminate those means by which man tries to cleanse himself of despair.”–Antonin Artaud

So every spring, I tend to do a cleanse. With Seasonal changes, our bodies change and must adapt to the new things around it. That is why it is important to eat with the seasons, and take time to listen to our bodies instead of forcing it to be a certain way. It always is telling us something; physically, emotionally and spiritually. So, what better way to kick off Spring than to pump it full of nutrients from fruits and veggies? No to mention ramping up my yoga routine and spending more time outside. With warm weather comes bike rides, picnics and being one with nature. Who doesn’t love that?

So, that is the reason for not posting yesterday. I had to take a bit to regroup and let go of some stuff. Plus, being super grumpy and detoxing is no fun. Just trying to get through a yoga routine without crying was hard enough, plus headaches and body aches…it was a nightmare. But, with lots of sleep and sticking to things, I was able to get through it and I am a lot better now. 🙂 I’ll be doing this for a few weeks. No gluten. no sugar unless from agave, maple or stevia. Staying the heck away from corn if I can at all help it. Bye bye junk food… I will make my own. (poor Oreos…)

So, what’s on todays menu? Lot’s of herbal and green tea, fresh made juice, and stir fried veggies. Oh, and a handful of nuts and seeds for snack. I might take a crack at making veggie chips this weekend for an extra treat. That will be interesting since I will have hit the one month marker with Bryce on Saturday. I shall post a few recipes of the things I make and let you all know how they turn out. Now, off to go and do yoga at the park! Namaste!

Thoughts on food (monthly update)

“Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live.”–Socrates

So it’s been a good minute since I have done an update on how my vegan diet is going. For the most part, I have been pretty good about staying vegan, but I have had times where I had no other option but to eat vegetarian. I have avoided dairy at all cost though which has been the most challenging, especially when you live in a family that really doesn’t understand why you are vegan.  Being taunted about your diet choices plus having a limited amount of food that you can eat at home tends to make things difficult when trying to prepare food. hopefully that will be changing soon once I am back in the routine of making enough money to buy my own groceries.

I have hit a bit of a plateau as far as loosing weight. I have been hovering around 125 lbs for the past 2 weeks or so and I am thinking it has to do with not being able to eat all the things I normally would on a regular basis. Having to rely on carbs is not a good thing so I am thinking of giving up bread all together for a good bit to see if that helps. Yay not having gluten! On a brighter note, I have seen major improvements in my skin. No breakouts for a few weeks, my PMS is not nearly as bad and my hair even seems healthier.

I am also going to be amping up my meditation and yoga routines to combat the lack of healthy vegan options right now. I think an hour a day of yoga and 30 minutes of meditation will help me out greatly. That will be starting this weekend, plus a mini juice fast to boost my metabolism starting on Monday.

In other news, I am quite pleased to say that my new man (Bryce) is very interested in my vegan lifestyle and is wanting me to cook some things for him this weekend while I am in Chapel Hill with him. Can you say awesome?!?!?! I am so happy that I can share that with someone that I really care about. Most men I have dated previously have been outright carnivores; tolerant ones, but still carnivores none the less. His interests aren’t just for physical health, but more on the spiritual side of things. Eating a vegetarian/vegan tends to open people up spiritually, which in my opinion is a fantastic thing. Ill be posting a few of the recipes that I will be making with him this weekend (plus pictures) so stay tuned! Hope you all enjoy and Namaste!

Reevaluations

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. —Buddha 

Last night was weird, to say the least. I had one of those days where I guess you would say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. It was absolutely dreadful. It’s not like I didn’t make it throughout the day and had a total melt down…but something was up. First off I slept like dirt the night before for no reason. It was just out of the blue and I have been sleeping rather soundly lately. And when I woke up, I was in panic mode.

I woke up an hour and a half before my alarm was suppose to go off and I could not go back to sleep. So I got up and started doing things that needed to be done around the house, was still very panicky about it too. It almost felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I took some B vitamins to calm me down…didn’t work very well. Neither did the quick shower. Nor meditating during quite time once I got to work. It was just…well horrible.

I didn’t know what was going on or why I felt odd. I couldn’t put two and two together and so I just was in a funk for most of the day. I wanted to bite someones head off, scream, shout, let it all out… but nothing came up and I was stuck. This little angry ball of fear and hate and awfulness in my chest and radiated throughout my body. Then at writing club I thought I had a break through with writing about what happened to me on Monday in this lovely epic rant (that will be posted later fyi). NOPE! Still pissed off and irked at the world even after reading it.

The weirdest thing about it was throughout the day, it seemed like everyone and their mother was trying to get a hold of me to see how I was. I do have a very wide circle of friends that I keep in touch with so people talking to me is normal…but this was ridiculous. People I hadn’t really talked to in quite a while was checking up on me. Coincidental? Possibly, but I highly doubt it. Anywho, it is nice to know that people do care about you and can pick up on stuff even without knowing it.

So after a lovely talk with someone on the phone for a bit, I went back into Camino and sat at the far end of the table across from all of my friends and just looked at them pitifully and went, “meow…” *head desk* (meow has many different meanings depending on context among my friends) and so they decided it might be time for me to have some energy work done. Yes, I do practice rekie healing, stone therapy, divination, and the like. I use it to help others as well as myself. So, there I am having people put their hands on me and giving me some much needed love and help me work through all this…well crud.

Whatever it was, it hurt. It stung. It made me feel like ass and an ass. I felt scared, alone, hot, cold, achy, and loads of other things. I am beginning to wonder if it was some sort of shift in my consciousness, getting rid of old baggage I had been holding onto for years or maybe a little bit of both. I couldn’t put words to it other than OW, still can’t but it will come to me if need be. I felt better afterwards…but I don’t think its quite done. Still had odd dreams last night that were way too realistic for comfort and woke up with stomach cramps because of it. Like extremely painful ones. I am fine now, thank goodness…but still baffled.

I am starting to think that this diet not only has been affecting my physical health, but also my mental and spiritual health as well. Not in a bad way of course, but it is a bit scary. I am getting down to the bare bones of my issues and fears that I have. There is that little voice inside that is telling me to give up and just curl up in a ball and hide, but I can’t and I won’t. I am not going to give up on this or myself because dammit I will finish something for once! Hopefully I will be able to figure out what this…well thing is in a few days. And so we shall see; good things come to those who wait. Namaste.

Constellations

I hope that the flaming sparks of the lamps of Diwali which burns like a shooting star, guide your way through your dreams. –Unknown
This is another one of my works. I wrote this in November and it is a bit more loving and visual. It just came to me because of how I felt in that moment and this is what it is translated into words. The heart is a fickle thing, but it makes for good poetry sometimes. I have a lot of love in my heart that I wish to give and sometimes the best way to express that is through words. I hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think. Namaste! 🙂
Constellations
by: Michelle Curry
The smell of you lingers as I imagine how your skin tastes. It haunts me, embracing me in warmth while you eyes scan my vessel called a body. Hot, like the firey sands in which we lay, you open my ribcage wide and peer into my soul. Hands touch, remembering each lifetime with each line in our palms. Like rivers they lead to the source in which we call home.
Curiously, you touch my skin, soft and tenderly and with care. Following heart lines like road signs, my body becomes a map of the constellations as you try and find your way North. Following Orin’s belt along my chakras, we meet face to face. Lips touch, caressing tonges and muffled moans pour forth like opium infused smoke, creating a haze around us, cocooning our souls till we merge into one. Like the alchemy of the cosmos, I am mercury and you iron, forming a union in which becomes pure gold.
“Doostat Daram” you whisper softly into my ears as our souls intertwine, weaving memories into tapestries lined in ether that were once lost among the sands of time. And I you and you me transcend into stardust, following comet tails North to where we call home. I found you, I found you Habibi.

Update Week 3

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It has been 3 weeks since I have started my vegan journey and I am quite enjoying it. No more cravings really (minus chocolate, but that’s for different reasons) and not missing processed foods either. Still trying to figure out how to not sound awkward when I order in a restaurant though. That is a process and sadly not everyone has been so nice about it either. But, I have to roll with the punches.

I have been cooking even more than I did last week and have been able to do so at work (which is nice thank god). My juicing experiment was a total success as well because I had enough will power to do so and it made me feel great. Plus green juice is quite tasty.

So, minus the awful hormonal BS that I have gone through this week, I have slept fairly well, skin is doing a lot better, I have managed not to get sick even though the kids I take care of have been, and I lost 2 more lbs. So I am now around 128. It has been quite a while since I have been at this weight and I am quite excited!

I can see where it is coming off too. My thighs are more toned, my butt has lifted, and I have a very defined lines where my abs are. And I have not even worked out that much this week either! It is absolutely fantastic! Aside from bodily stuff, my moods are also better. I don’t feel as frustrated as I normally am either. Not sure if it has to do with the book I have been reading, the amount of yoga I do, or a combination of the diet with all of those things. Regardless, it is wonderful. I am not a fan of being stressed out all the time so this is good!

So as for goals this week, I am just going to stick with what I have been doing as well as continue the juice day. I am also going to try and get my room into tip top shape so that I have a complete zen environment. I am also taking all of my old jewelry and repurposing it to make into wine glasses, house hold items and urban jewelry pieces to sell so stay tuned! I am also debating on whether to do this diet for longer than originally planned because of the results I am getting. Anyway I hope you all enjoy and Namaste!