Reevaluation

meditation

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”
― Gautama Buddha, Sayings Of Buddha

Well, that was a bit of a hiatus, to say the least. Hi all, I am back. Life got the better of me for a little while and because of that, I really couldn’t bring myself to blog. I did, however, write quite a bit. It just was more for myself and my own musings so I could figure out where I was. In that time I have found a steady job (go me!) at a local health food store called The Only Earth in High Point, North Carolina as well as had my figure modeling take off. I have painted, traveled, done lots of photography, learned lots of different recipes, dated a few people, and met some really interesting individuals along the way.

I also have decided to undertake my yoga teacher certification and am trying to plan my Exodus of North Carolina to greener (or more concrete) pastures of New York City. Yep, that is right… This small town girl is going to make it in the Big Apple. Why? Well, I have a few reasons. One of them being that it has been calling my name since I visited back in September of 2012. As soon as I was on the bridge and started walking on the streets, I knew I was home. The rush, the liveliness, the smells, the people, just all of it. I HAD to go back.

Another reason is because every single person I have come into contact with has asked me why the hell I was here and why haven’t I gone somewhere else. “You are too smart, pretty, cultured, amazing, [insert other reason/complement here] to be here. What in God’s name is holding you back?!?!?!” Needless to say, I really haven’t had an excuse except fear. Fear of failing, fear of the unknown, fear of making a mistake, and most of all the fear of disappointment. I have known for a very long time that, yes, I don’t really fit in around here. But, instead of just wallowing in the uncertainty, I am just going to put on my big girl britches and do it.

My final reason is because…well the opportunity has arrived, more or less. You know when you really want something, but you never think you are going to get it, so you just avoid it? Then the Universe just smacks you upside the face and goes, “HEY! YOU! This is what you want so have at it. You’re welcome.” Then you just stand there a bit flabbergasted and then you run with it because you know deep down you CAN and WILL make it happen? Yeah, that kinda happened. I am going to leave that one there for now and explain later in more detail because one blog post will not do it justice.

So, that is where I am at in life. Am I scared? Maybe a little bit. Will I let my fears get in the way of things? Hell no! I am probably the happiest I have been in a very long time because frankly, I am going after what I want. That being said, I am trying to revamp said blog, so if you see some changes ascetically, then that is why. Stay tuned, I will be writing more often now that I actually have my head screwed on properly. Namaste!

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