If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you. –A. A. Milne
Ask and you shall receive, that is how the universe works. Well I asked a long time ago and I finally received because I was ready for it. Remember that post where I talked about hating being single? It was called Owner of a Lonely Heart. That was in January and boy, have I grown a lot since then. It has been 2 months since that post and within 2 months I have had some major upheaval and detoxing. Not just physically, but spiritually, emotionally and mentally.
Growth is what you make of it; it can be easy or you can take it kicking and screaming. I did a little bit of both, plus some tears. It has been really hard being able to just let go and have the universe guide me though all of this…but it happened. All the strange dreams, energetic shifts and even that horrible night where felt like I was going to die while at a party amounted to something. It opened me up so that I may create space for love and create new patterns. It allowed me to be vulnerable enough so that I can and would take chances.
“So I am practicing self love by allowing myself to be Okay with singleness… I know it won’t be forever, but for now I have to be okay with me. And when I am ready, things will fall into place and go as they may. Enough is enough of patterns. Its time to make new ones that are good for me and not self deprecating.”
That, right there, was my intention and you know what happened? Prince Charming came a trotting on his white horse. You know how they say you just “know” when you meet the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with? I was a bit of a nonbeliever in “love at first site”, a cynic even! I thought all relationships are hard work and they don’t just fall in your lap. Well the universe proved me wrong on that one.
So, what happened was I was suppose to have a date on a Monday with someone out of town, but they ended up canceling on me because “they had been driving all weekend and they were tired” which really meant “I found someone I really connect with on my ski trip and I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” Needless to say, I was a bit sad and so I sat with it for a little while. Then I got the urge to go to OkCupid and look and I did. Low and behold, I noticed someone had looked at my page and I was like “oh I hope he messages me…but maybe I should send him one first so he knows I am interested.” He beat me to it and from that point it just kinda snowballed into awesome happiness.
We messaged back and forth, then had an amazing phone conversation that night that last for 4 hours…yes, 4 hours. I have not talked on the phone that long since like high school. we decided to have a date on Thursday and when we met in person…well fireworks happened. I have to say, I have never been this happy and so relieved all at the same time. Things just fit and are falling into place naturally. I can finally be myself and not walk on eggshells anymore. I have room to let go and just be as I am with someone and that is enough. I am looking forward to seeing where this leads to and see how we both grow with all of this. So, next time you feel like you aren’t getting anywhere in life, ask and you shall receive. Namaste!