It is always one’s virtues and not one’s vices that precipitate one into disaster.-Rebecca West
As you all have noticed, I have not posted for almost a week. So what happened? That is an oddly good question. Let me start at the beginning. Remember how I said I didn’t want to come home? Well, on Valentines Day, of all the days they had to pick< I lost my job. Why? Facebook. Yes, I know there are laws against that but with being a nanny you kinda have to roll with the punches. I hated that it happened, I was angry, hurt, felt betrayed, like I was lesser of a human being…you get the idea.
It was rather silly I think, I could use other words, but I shall refrain. So, after curling up into a ball and freaking out for about an hour or so after it happened, I went, “What am I doing? This is not the end of the world, it is a job and an opportunity to do something else.” Still was in a bit of pain about it, but I will get to that later. My lovey friend Chris, who I saw in Connecticut, has decided to help me out in this endeavor and giving me a bit of a game plan to work with and so far so good! I am strong, but I realize I do need help and I cannot do this by myself.
Also on Valentines Day, my plans got canceled because my friend Jake was…well…being an artist and freaking out and wasn’t thinking straight and then took out some frustrations on me in which he apologized for later, but plans were canceled due to that and so I just up and left town for the night to get the heck away from all of my issues. People are nice, I will say that much. Ended up seeing him the next day and I was still beating myself up for all of it, but the flowers did make me feel better. I came home and well…I got the umpteenth degree from my parents, which I expected, but it just wasn’t needed at that moment and I have not cried like that in god knows how long. Id say that was a good 4-5 hours of crying…it was awful. That was my personal hell that came out and I really would not like to go back to that place again.
So, I just have been game planning since then and trying to get my bearing straight so I can figure out my life. I have my goals set up, I have a plan of attack for finding work, I have lots of people who are being supportive and trying to help me out, and well…we shall see what happens. I shall have a job within the next week or two, I am sure. I will make it happen! This is also allowing me to be creative and write, paint, make pieces to sell and so on. It is also allowing me to get things set up for school, find a job that I really enjoy (hello baking) and just be all around happier.
So when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. I will be posting on the regular again so stay tuned, wish me luck and Namaste!