Dear Sir…

Man: Hey Baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do Not Enter.
-Unknown
So, I had this past Monday off of work. It was great; I got to go out for lunch at one of my favorite breakfast places, go to some of the stores I have been meaning to go to, see some good friends and even do some vintage shopping. However… The one thing that happened that I wasn’t happy about is this.
I was walking down Trade street in Winston. I am on this street quite often and have no issues with walking around down town Winston Salem. It is a fairly safe area since it is literally right next to the police ward. So, there I am, minding my own business and quite happy bout the day and then…*BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEP* “HEY YO GURL!” Lo and behold, there was someone cat calling me out of their car.
I understand I am what most people would consider attractive. I have been told I could go out in a potato sack, pink hair and no makeup and I would still get hit on. I am a bit modest though and tend to not think about these things. The thing is though I was walking around in a part of town I was quite familiar with and this happened. I turned to look at him and there he was, in his “hot-rod”, stopped in the middle of the street hanging out his window trying to talk to me.
“Gurl, you are so fine…so damn fine” and proceeded to wave his finger to come here and I just rolled my eyes and kept walking. Then he had the nerve to yell out to me, “If I could, I would rape you right now.” There, that’s the part where I wanted to boomerang a 6 inch stiletto heel at him. I said “Fuck you very very much”, flicked him the bird and walked a bit faster so I could dive into the closest shop possible. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT OKAY TO SAY TO ANYONE?!?!?!?!
Most of the time if I get “hit on” or what not then the men at least have some sort of tack. “Are you married? That’s a really nice jacket, kind of reminds me of Thriller. I just wanted to tell you that you are extremely beautiful.” and things of that nature. Those, while might be a bit odd, can at least be construed as complements. They don’t make you want to dive into the local yoga studio to escape from some thug in his hoopdie. It made me extremely angry. This is what woman have to put up with on a daily basis.
Objectification is just that, be objectified and treated as an inanimate, emotionless thing. No one, man or woman, should be treated like this. I understand there is a difference between white and black culture, I am not that familiar with it and I don’t really feel comfortable having to label it like that either. Regardless, the fact that he could say that to someone else and then get laid bothers me! That is the wrong type of game that he has going on. It’s illegal or can be illegal if acted upon those words. I have been in that situation, I know what it feels like to be treated like you don’t matter and it has to stop.
I could have been typical and defended how I was dressed or what not, but I didn’t. Needless to say it wasn’t provocative. You don;t have to dress provocatively to get attention from people anyway. This is the number one thing people say is “what were you wearing?” and then you receive the response of “you were asking for it”. In what way is a huge sweater and scarf with boots and wool socks provocative? How is that asking for it? And woman don’t get raped just going home from the club either. It can happen at any day and time. It’s horrifying to even think about, and so most just turn a blind eye and don’t talk about it.
So, like most things that bother me, I decided to write about it. I will be posting it as soon as I can get a hold of my note book which I left at work. It was quite the rant of epicness. But for now, I would like to say this:
Dear Sir
I will probably never see you again in my life I am hoping but, who the hell do you think you are?
I can’t believe you even had the nerve to say that crap to me and think it is okay!
On what planet or time is that ever allowed or cool? It is not and if you were in my shoes you wouldn’t appreciate it either. I hope to God that you have an epiphany and realize that you are contributing to what is called rape culture and until you stop acting like a jerk, it is not going to end.
Now go fuck yourself because that’s the only game you’ll be getting if this continues because karma is a bitch.
Sincerely,
Me and the rest of the woman population
Namaste.
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4 thoughts on “Dear Sir…

  1. I am so sorry you got treated that way, some men are just jerks. Women are wonderful/beautiful, worthy of praise, respect and love. Wish I could find them and make them apologize. I would never say things like that to a woman, especially not you. Namaste.

    • Well a lot of people these days were not raised with love and respect and if they were, they tend to turn a blind eye towards it. All for the sake of being cool or fitting in. I am just glad that it didnt turn into something worse.

  2. Oh my goodness, that’s disgusting/awful/terrifying! I’m amazing you managed to walk away without leaving time with a stiletto heel shaped hole in his head! No one should be treated that way.

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