So here is a poem I wrote a month or so ago. It was one of those poems that just came up from the depths and described everything I felt at that moment in a constructive way. We all have people that enter and exit our lives and for me, this person taught me a lot in a short amount of time. I also made a really good friend out of it and if that is what the reason of meeting this person was, then so be it.
This is a big step for me to be able to be able to be constructive like this with my feelings and even though I might not be able to get them out of my mouth all the time, I can at least write them down. I hope you all enjoy this “epic rant” as it has been called by a few of my close friends. And yes, it is okay to sometimes be angry. It is a natural part of the human psych. It is just better to get it out in a constructive way instead of just blowing up randomly. Namaste.
Approach or Avoid
By: Michelle Curry
Cold eyes and sharp tongue, you are the epitome of a snake in the grass. On swift wings of paper cranes you rode in like a comet, burning bright. Innocent and mysterious, you drew tetrahedrons and wrote haikus, told me of your spiritual path and lured me deep into your soul. Hypnotized by your starry eyes I fell for these tricks and gave you a chance to prove your worth, and like you asked, I put no labels on us, treating you with openness and respect.
You thanked me, said you loved me, made space for me in your heart and let pleasure run like wildfire from your soul into mine… And like all comets do, you faded leaving a trail of stardust and ice behind you. One by one, your flaws showed your true nature, excavating beneath your skin like scar tissue from self-inflicted wounds. I open my heart and got rid of the door that once held my feelings in… and then you bombard me with close minded rage and fear… the very emotion you told me to let go of.
I cried and you lectured, psychoanalyzing my every word and action, moving between compassion and anger. The words of Incubus come to mind. “Hey Megalomaniac, you’re no Jesus! Yeah you’re no fucking Elvis! Wash your hands clean of yourself and baby, ah, step down. Step down, Ohhh Step DOWN!” No matter your dream that “god” has given you, you are not mightier or holier or more divine or enlightened than I. I am older than you in spirit and you are nothing but a poor boy running on railroad tracks with the train of life close behind you.
You are educated and yet have no job to speak of. You have traveled the world, but on the toils and tribulations of others. You cover yourself in rags and ashes repenting your sins and god has no place for you in heaven. Becoming a bum, vagabond even, and running from your issues of being a grownup neither makes you loveable or Peter Pan. You say you have so much love to give and that is why you do not believe in monogamy, yet you close yourself off to where no one can hurt that little abandoned child deep inside your heart. Your smoke and mirrors do not work with me. You speak out of turn for others and me. You have no earthly idea what you are doing and have LOTS to learn.
Now, you do have good within you, but it is clouded by pensive bigotry and narcissism. So this, my comet, is what I have to say to you and listen well… GO FUCK YOURSELF! Grow the fuck up, get a REAL job, a car, and a house. Learn to actually love others other than yourself, stop speaking for other people, stop pretending to be a martyr and just be fucking HUMAN like you are!!! Your “I am more enlightened than thou” attitude is tiresome, boring and blatantly offensive. I am thoroughly sick of you bullshit, as is the rest of the world. Now go about your business and decide if it is best to approach or avoid.